is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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