I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
