All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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