I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize