how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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