But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
