They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wish my penis had a tongue
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
