I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
