brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
