the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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