i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
