when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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