We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
