uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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