i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
