The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
