Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
