Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
