He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
