Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
