The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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