you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
