Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
