Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
