Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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