this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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