i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i was born a porn star she said
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Randomize