I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
