i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
