Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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