I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
