i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
