Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
