im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
