And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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