I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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