MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
