Porn is love you can see.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
