Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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