i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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