I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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