So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
