so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
