She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
