Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
