Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize