Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
