Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
