so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
