If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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