My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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