omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
