How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
