Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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