12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
