i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
