he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
