moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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