How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
