i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize