I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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