There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
