@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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