where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
