I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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